For the Millennial generation, summer holidays once meant part-time jobs, internships, or seasonal gigs to earn some money or gain experience. Today’s teenagers—and often young university students—tend to avoid obligations in favor of travel and relaxation. What has caused this shift, and what could be its consequences? Business psychologist, strategist, and trainer Tomasz Kalko offers his perspective.
“I’ve been observing a troubling trend for years. As a society, we’ve entered a phase of parenting that—while seemingly full of care and love—actually deprives children of essential life skills. More and more, I encounter young people who don’t lack knowledge, but struggle with basic social, emotional, and practical competencies. Yet these are precisely the abilities that build mental resilience, responsibility, and the capacity to navigate the world.”
The summer break is approaching—a time once reserved for carefree relaxation for younger children, but also a season for internships, part-time work, and practical experience for teens and students. According to a May 2024 study by Maison&Partners commissioned by the Warsaw Enterprise Institute, 45% of adult Poles reported having worked before the age of 18 (Polish law allows legal employment from age 15). Today, many parents say their children don’t need to work—as long as they get good grades. But is that really the most important thing?
Knowledge Isn’t Everything
Until recently, we lived in a culture that prized knowledge—understood as IQ—above all else. What mattered was how many facts you could recite, what grades you had. Today, that’s no longer enough. Information is universally accessible—anyone can look up the date of the Battle of Grunwald in seconds. What matters now is the ability to connect, analyze, and apply knowledge—and above all, interpersonal and practical skills.
We’re entering an age where human skills—those that can’t be replaced by machines—are crucial: teamwork, empathy, relationship-building, conflict resolution, and independence. In a world full of uncertainty and constant change, these are the new foundations of not just career success, but life success.
Students are no longer interested in memorizing facts or reading books—they don’t understand why they should or how it benefits them. Their brains are wired differently. They crave constant dopamine, which they get from the internet and popular apps.
We’re Teaching Kids Comfort, Not Responsibility
Unfortunately, more and more parents are creating a world for their children that’s full of comfort but devoid of challenge. We shield them from effort, duties, and sometimes even reality. A happy child—that’s the goal in many families. But is happiness without agency, independence, or a sense of influence truly sustainable?
Instead of setting boundaries and offering responsibility, we offer… convenience. We expect the school to handle everything. But school doesn’t teach life—it teaches knowledge. And life? That’s about carrying out projects from start to finish, facing consequences, and stepping outside your comfort zone. It’s daily effort—for yourself and for others.
Letting go of control and allowing a child to be independent, to test themselves in a field they’re passionate about, is crucial. Summer break is the perfect time for this. A conscious parent can trust their child and give them a chance to grow. Rest is important—no one’s suggesting sending a 16-year-old into a full-time job for two months—but perhaps an internship at a nonprofit would be a good choice? It teaches both independence and responsibility.
Manual Labor – The New Gold
Another issue deserves society’s attention: manual labor, once associated with a lack of education, is now regaining value. Young people are increasingly turning away from desk jobs and choosing crafts, services, and operational work. Why? Because they can see the results of their efforts, earn real money, and feel a sense of agency.
Mechanics, plumbers, electricians—professions once viewed as “lesser”—now offer not only financial stability but also satisfaction. On top of that, they’re practically immune to automation and AI. Yet we continue pushing kids toward university, as if that’s the only key to success. It’s not.
Office jobs are increasingly linked to high levels of stress and burnout. Many highly educated professionals—with degrees in marketing, postgraduate certificates, and numerous courses—are unable to find work because the market is oversaturated and salary ranges are too narrow. That’s a clear signal that our approach to education needs to change.
Kids Need to Learn by Participating in Life
For centuries, children learned life skills by… living. They observed adults, helped out, and took on daily responsibilities. Today, children are more like “products”—shuffled from one organized activity to another, expected to be happy, but not necessarily useful. No one expects much from them because they’re “still too young.” Even homework is disappearing. But this “too young” period lasts until they turn 18.
A three-year-old can tidy up their toys. A seven-year-old can unload the dishwasher. A ten-year-old can have a household responsibility. That’s not asking too much—it’s the foundation of responsibility. If children don’t learn how to function within a family—a small tribe—they won’t learn it in adulthood.
Summer? A Time for Growth, Not Just Entertainment
Not long ago, summer meant visiting family, helping an uncle at the workshop, or working in the garden with grandparents. Today? Summer is often a string of parent-organized attractions. There’s a lack of opportunities for kids to feel capable. And yet it’s in simple activities—helping in a store, picking fruit, taking care of younger siblings—where vital traits are developed: resourcefulness, teamwork, and responsibility. No school can teach these as effectively.
What Can We Do as Parents?
We must stop being afraid to set expectations. We’re not here to fulfill all our children’s needs for their entire lives. We’re here to teach them how to deal with life—step by step, age-appropriately. To show that not every “I don’t feel like it” deserves sympathy. That the satisfaction of a job well done is far greater than momentary pleasure.
If we don’t start treating our children as real participants in life, we’ll raise a generation of adults unprepared for adulthood. They’ll be educated but lost. Surrounded by connections, but lonely. Unprepared for work, even if they speak four languages.
That’s why I encourage you—not only as a business psychologist, but also as a father—let’s teach our children what truly matters: relationships, independence, hard work, and responsibility. Because what Johnny doesn’t learn, adult John simply won’t know—in work or in life.
Author: Tomasz Kalko – Business psychologist, strategist, trainer, and author of the book “The Art of Wise Dispute”
https://tomaszkalko.pl/sztuka-madrego-sporu/
About the Author: Tomasz Kalko is a business psychologist (ALK), strategist, manager, university lecturer (MBA), and trainer with 25 years of experience in team management. He has trained over 30,000 people and co-created the success of Blachy Pruszyński. He has built distribution networks generating over PLN 2 billion in annual turnover. He is a practitioner, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and author of numerous training programs in leadership, communication, and sales. Member of the Association of Professional Speakers and Mentors.
https://tomaszkalko.pl/
